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Inner Child Work
What does Inner Child Work mean?
Working as a facilitator of Family Constellations since more than 17 years, I am convinced that most of our problems have their origin in our childhood.
In a Constellation we search for the origin of our issues, and what we find is a child that suffered, that was helpless, did not receive enough love, security, or attention.
A child hardly can express his needs, even worst when the parents were not available as the child wanted them to be.
Why is this a problem in your life as an adult?
All this conflict situations in the childhood, without proper solutions, continue to be alive in us. Often, we get into similar situations, but never find a good solution.
Why?
Because we get triggered, or better said, subconsciously we remember the first situation, where we had this problem and then, the adult becomes a helpless little child.
The adult is not aware of this change into a little child and if somebody would say “you act like a little child”, you might get angry or sad.
This suffering child is still inside of you. It wants to be heard and seen; it’s waiting for attention.
You, the adult, know exactly what you want in life, and how your life should be. But the child inside of you has different goals, different intentions, wants attention for his work, some mother love from the wife, financial security for inner insecurity, etc.
This internal struggle inside you can cause nearly all the problems an adult suffers from.
This search stops when the child receives what he needs and the only person who can help the child is his adult version, or better the person who has issues, problems.
Through the Inner Child Work, we help the child inside of us.
And if there have been a lot of these conflict situations, we would look for a solution until now. I like to say, we are still stuck in childhood, meaning we try to handle our adult life as little children, and that never can work.
With the Family Constellation, I can identify the suffering child behind the problem and with the “Inner Child Therapy”, I can integrate these childish parts into the adult, when giving them what they need most: Love, security, and attention, whatever was needed most in the particular situation in the past.
I cannot change the past, but I can help the child (myself) who experienced these difficult situations.
It happens quite often that a client, who talks about a childhood experience laughs about it, or says ¨long time ago, not important anymore¨. Then I say: "Feel into that boy/girl, that had been in this situation" and then they feel how painful it had been back then and start to accept that they still feel helpless.
I can give you here an example out of my own life: I always was afraid of dogs; never understood why until I heard an interesting story out of my childhood. When I was 3 or 4 years old, an uncle of my mother, at the time, older than 90 took care of me and to assure I do not run away too far, he kept me often on a 50-meter-long dog leash. When I first heard this story, I laughed about it, but when I felt into that little boy, me, I felt lots of fear, was close to a panic attack, shout for help…
And suddenly I understood: In reality I never was afraid of dogs, I had fear somebody comes and put that leash around my neck. Sure, this does not happen to a 40-year-old man, but the adult me changed into this little boy in the moment he saw a dog.
Meanwhile my fear of dogs disappeared. How? By doing Inner child work, helping this little myself in the situation out of the childhood, give him security, hold him, love him.
So, let's find that child inside of you, make it happy, give it a good place inside of your heart and you will start to live your life different.
How do I do Inner Child Therapy:
The client will tell me some situations out of the childhood he remembers, situations where the child has suffered, was angry, sad, helpless. These memories can be like pictures, little movies and if there are no clear memories, I can work with photos of the client's childhood, the age when the stuff happened.
The client then will look at one of these situations and I will lead him, the adult, into the situation to help the child or younger version of himself. The goal is that the child leaves the past and comes to the present time, where he will receive from the adult, what he missed in the childhood. The adult will replace a missing parent.
As a result, the client will be able to have reasonable solutions in so far difficult situations, instead of acting like a little, helpless child, since the child inside of him finally found peace.
This is always an intense and emotional experience. I call it self-love, self-awareness, real healing.
In the session, the client will learn to do this work by himself to have a powerful tool for his future healing processes.
if you feel, this is exactly what you would need right now, contact me.